Sorry it has been so long since I updated! Things have finally been calming down for me. Happy new year! Enjoy Bob's last couple of days in China!
On Sunday (5/5), I took Boba to the electronic mall. He is a technophile, so I figured he would have lots of eyegasms checking out the merchandise. We meet up with Remus and Kim; she is one of Remus’ students. The three of us had gone out together a few times before this outing.
On Sunday (5/5), I took Boba to the electronic mall. He is a technophile, so I figured he would have lots of eyegasms checking out the merchandise. We meet up with Remus and Kim; she is one of Remus’ students. The three of us had gone out together a few times before this outing.
Before we met up I sort of had a weird vibe, like I should have cancelled or something, but I thought nothing of it. When we arrive, Kim stepped in front of me and placed her hand on Boba’s shoulder. She proceeded to tell him that he was very handsome. -_- It definitely irritated me and rubbed me the wrong way. Since I’m abroad, my second thought was is this culturally acceptable? Usually my feelings aren't off, but you never know. I had no idea at the time (I know now that it isn’t. I told Dean what happened, and he was shocked and angry that she did that).
Sometimes I get the feeling that some people here are shocked that I have a boyfriend and are even more shocked to discover that he's a different race than me. First off, no one expects me to have a love life. Remus says the first question he usually gets is does he have a girlfriend. The next question is does he like Chinese girls which is super awkward for him because he's not an Asian woman fetishizing douche. Foreign women in China don't usually get asked these questions. I don't think it has anything to do with my attractiveness; I think it's mostly based on me being Black and female. There is a lot of issues with anti-blackness and colorism in China (as well as other countries in East Asia). Lighter skin (specifically white skin) is perceived to be better than darker skin; these ideas existed before Western colonialism. Some women here use umbrellas in the summertime because they don’t want to get darker. Also, for some reason here the male foreigners are constantly asked about dating but the females are never asked. Nicky met her husband (Pan Chao) in Dongying and they were recently married and people (foreigners and locals) are very shocked to hear that she has a husband let alone a Chinese one.
I personally wouldn’t ever do what she did; Brit and I have told each other that we think the other’s boyfriend is super cute, but I wouldn’t tell her boyfriend that. If I made a remark, it would be about how they looked great together (they are so freakin cute!). But like I said before, something just made me uncomfortable. Boba handled it like a boss which one of the many things I love about him. We’re both super nice people, and we don’t think everyone wants us. But we both can sense when someone is flirting or stepping out of line, and we politely disengage. He politely said thank you, stepped back to stand beside me, and took my hand. Needless to say, I was ready for the outing to be over. We hung out for about an hour looking around. Then we took the bus back to the college campus. On the bus, Kim ran into a friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her gesture towards Boba and say something in Mandarin to her friend.
When we arrived on campus, I could sense that she still wanted to hang out. I said I wanted to take a nap. She reluctantly said goodbye, and we headed to Remus’ apartment. We hung out there until dinner time.
Later on we had shao kao (Chinese barbecue) with Tom and Liz. Tom and Liz are from Southern China (Tom from Guangzhou and Liz from Shenzhen). I love how all my close friends are from Southern China and speak Cantonese primarily even though I am in Northern China. Here are some pictures from dinner.
Tom and Liz
Remus and Dean
Shao Kao!
Tom and Liz
Remus and Dean
Shao Kao!
I put in a pic of this dress because Tom thought it was too revealing. He even asked Boba if he was comfortable with me wearing this haha
We left Simple at around 11:30 and ran into four guys peeing against a wall right by the side walk with their back to us. They were probably had been eating and drinking at the shao kao spot right beside the wall. They were so close that if I leaned over I would see their privates. I could basically reach out my arm and it would almost touch their back. Public urination is something that is something that is acceptable, but I'm used to seeing kids doing in China that it's awkward to me when men do it. I have only come across this once before.
On Wednesday Boba visited my 5H, 5C, and 5B classes. For my 5H class, he played a quick warm-up with them. He quickly said hello to my 5B class before he and I went to lunch. He meet a student of mines in that class that shares his name and acts just like Boba told me he behaved as a child hahah They even said hello to each other the same. My student Steven in this class puffed his chest when I pointed him out to Boba; I died laughing haha
He spent the most time with my 5C class. One of my students, Eddie, asked me randomly a few months before if I had a boyfriend and I answered truthfully. They proceeded to ask me lots of questions, and I even showed them a pic of him. I told them a month before that he was coming to China and they were super excited. The even asked/reminded me (haha) the day before to make sure Boba was coming. They were gonna snatch me bald if they didn't see him. We played Boys vs. Girls games, Boba on the boys team and me with the ladies. We all had so much fun. Here's a picture Boba took.
You can tell how petite I am in this picture.
The next day Boba had to head back to Beijing, so I saw him off at the bus station. It was so nice to have him come to my small city and meet the family that I made and see my awesome babies!
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