Wow! Before I knew it seven months have gone by! Soooo many things have happened. It took me a little bit to adjust to being back home. Reverse culture shock wasn't as bad as I anticipated. I was super tired though while my body was adjusting to having my nights be my days. I would get super sleepy at work and had to fight through it.
I still have some posts to write about the end of my time in China. I also have some quick updates to share :)
Dongying Time Part 2
Sorry it has been so long since I updated! Things have finally been calming down for me. Happy new year! Enjoy Bob's last couple of days in China!
On Sunday (5/5), I took Boba to the electronic mall. He is a technophile, so I figured he would have lots of eyegasms checking out the merchandise. We meet up with Remus and Kim; she is one of Remus’ students. The three of us had gone out together a few times before this outing.
On Sunday (5/5), I took Boba to the electronic mall. He is a technophile, so I figured he would have lots of eyegasms checking out the merchandise. We meet up with Remus and Kim; she is one of Remus’ students. The three of us had gone out together a few times before this outing.
Before we met up I sort of had a weird vibe, like I should have cancelled or something, but I thought nothing of it. When we arrive, Kim stepped in front of me and placed her hand on Boba’s shoulder. She proceeded to tell him that he was very handsome. -_- It definitely irritated me and rubbed me the wrong way. Since I’m abroad, my second thought was is this culturally acceptable? Usually my feelings aren't off, but you never know. I had no idea at the time (I know now that it isn’t. I told Dean what happened, and he was shocked and angry that she did that).
Sometimes I get the feeling that some people here are shocked that I have a boyfriend and are even more shocked to discover that he's a different race than me. First off, no one expects me to have a love life. Remus says the first question he usually gets is does he have a girlfriend. The next question is does he like Chinese girls which is super awkward for him because he's not an Asian woman fetishizing douche. Foreign women in China don't usually get asked these questions. I don't think it has anything to do with my attractiveness; I think it's mostly based on me being Black and female. There is a lot of issues with anti-blackness and colorism in China (as well as other countries in East Asia). Lighter skin (specifically white skin) is perceived to be better than darker skin; these ideas existed before Western colonialism. Some women here use umbrellas in the summertime because they don’t want to get darker. Also, for some reason here the male foreigners are constantly asked about dating but the females are never asked. Nicky met her husband (Pan Chao) in Dongying and they were recently married and people (foreigners and locals) are very shocked to hear that she has a husband let alone a Chinese one.
I personally wouldn’t ever do what she did; Brit and I have told each other that we think the other’s boyfriend is super cute, but I wouldn’t tell her boyfriend that. If I made a remark, it would be about how they looked great together (they are so freakin cute!). But like I said before, something just made me uncomfortable. Boba handled it like a boss which one of the many things I love about him. We’re both super nice people, and we don’t think everyone wants us. But we both can sense when someone is flirting or stepping out of line, and we politely disengage. He politely said thank you, stepped back to stand beside me, and took my hand. Needless to say, I was ready for the outing to be over. We hung out for about an hour looking around. Then we took the bus back to the college campus. On the bus, Kim ran into a friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her gesture towards Boba and say something in Mandarin to her friend.
When we arrived on campus, I could sense that she still wanted to hang out. I said I wanted to take a nap. She reluctantly said goodbye, and we headed to Remus’ apartment. We hung out there until dinner time.